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Monday Night Countdown: Top 10 Reasons Ima probably fall back...

Aight ladies...you eva been kickin it wit a dude and everything is peaches, then all of a sudden...BAM...he start trippin...affection slow up or calls slow up...or, my favorite excuse ya'll use...'he started actin stupid'....truth be told...its cuz we probably fell back...like, girls be more cold wit it, or they just tend to disappear...nah...it ain't that easy for us, see, some of us got at least a smiggit of scruples and we don't wanna leave you stankin...so...we gotta, kinda make it OUR fault that it ain't work...God forbid its ever ya'll fault...which is a seperate argument in itself...but, real talk...here is a list of the Top 10 reasons Ima probably fall back...

10. Baggage - Ayo, when we first met, you was all smiles...everything was bubbles...you was bout to graduate and yo little sister just got a new fanny pack. Na'mean, you was in the door...but as time past, you start bringin more and more luggage by the crib...yo ex be following you around school...you can't find time to study cuz niggas keep throwing parties...and yo still aint told yo momma about that incident you had wit yo debit card. But forreal...I mean, I woulda been cool wit alotta this stuff, had you kinda, gave it to me in bits and pieces...well no I wouldnt of...either way...it just show me that, when life become a circus...you can't juggle...so nah...I ain't get that last text you sent...

9. The Ex-Factor - Real talk...Im not really tryna hear about what yo ex-piece did, didn't do...I mean, we can discuss things that you not tryna have happen again an what not...but I done ran into alotta ya'll that catalog each stage/year of ya life by ya ex-piece...secondly...why you got so many ex's...what you been on? Like...that just show me 1 of 2 things: 1. you gotta poo screening process or 2. they know sumthing I don't know...neither which can be good...and lastly...who still count High School? Forget what you talkin bout...the odds on both ya'll being mature enough to know what ya'll was doin is Gazillion-1...but forreal...the fact that you can't let yesterday go...only tell me that tomorrow we go be at reason No. 10...

8. Roomates - If your roomate is flawless...WE probably ain't go work...[ pray for me...He not finished with me yet]

7. All You Got is not-Gay Male Friends - Despite what ya'll believe...9 outta the 10 male 'friends' you have are attracted to you...and that one thats not...go start to notice, 'ayo, she DO gotta lil booty'...its natural...you can be nieve all you want...but right now, text any 2 of yo 'friends' and ask them, 'so uh...you wanna do sumthin, 'no strings'....and see what they text back...*waits*...See...but nah...it go thru all our heads, we be talkin to the homie like, 'I mean, she cool, I ain't really on it like that...but...if she talkin bout it...'

6. All You Got IS Gay Friends - I mean...what Im 'possed to do? I lose either way...if you invite me out wit yo friends, its not a good look...If you invite all yo friends over, its not a good look...and I ain't homophobic or nothing but...well, yes I am...either way...Ima just have to field way more questions than I care to...

5. Beyonce wrote your 'Declaration of Independence' -I can't quite pinpoint when it happened...but it did...this woman has single handedly set womens rights back 47 1/2 years. Before her, women was all about holding they man down and workin to better themselves...after her...all ya'll wanna do is be pampered, than married...and, I don't hate the lady, I don't even dislike her...but I already KNOW her...she been on the radio since I was a junior in high school...If you are her...or anything like her...I don't wanna know anything more about you...

4. You Make Me Yawn - Nowadays...that body only go get you so far...the sad part is...its only about to the edge of that mattress...Ladies, I don't care if Wolfgang Puck himself taught you how to cook, if you boring...we will find the chick thats un-boring...its nothing worse than askin a chick what she thinkin bout and everytime she say, 'about you'...yeesh...you ain't have no adventure today? I mean...go outside and play...make a thought come about...I can't always be the only source of entertainment in these interactions...what you been thinkin these last 24 years? I low-key don't know you...*backs away slowly*

3. ...and there's That Smell again - Ima be real ma...Im not real enough to tell you that I can smell that...just know that it's been one time too many...some where, a Unicorn is dying.

2. Your a 'Socialite' - Dudes really don't want a girl that parties more than us...you develop a rep...no gas, but if I can turn to my homie and get the scoop on you...you not winning...alotta ya'll don't even know ya'll own rap sheet...and, alotta ya'll may say, 'nah, he don't know nothin, I ain't like that'...its doesn't matter...it looks like its true...and none of us...and I mean none of us...wanna be seen with yesterdays news...

1. Im Your Only Friend - well..cuz that means EVERYBODY else knows sumthing that i don't...and its probably that you're crazy...I mean...who don't got friends? Even AIDS victims wit open cuts have friends...Whats your deal? You too old to not get along wit nobody...Fellas, if you ever meet a chick and all she wants to do is be up under you...you go have to ask yo'self, 'ayo, what she was doin before we met? Why she don't wanna go out with her girls? Why she so free?'...then ask her...this may help you avoid extremely large amouts of misery...